I can’t tell you anything, you don’t already know

I don’t know what it was about out there today, It seemed nice enough as I left the house, I was going up to eaton co, a few miles north of greeley, I have an interview on tues for a job in greeley. and I wanted to check it out. 

as I was dirving up there were really violent clouds forming over the mountains. huge black towwering clouds.  and then after bulding up for maybe ten minuetes, they would blow out compleately.  I don’t know what was happpening, I would glance over and see this huge mess of angry air and look back at the road, then glance back, and it would be gone.  it was directly to the west of me, so it wasn’t coming out onto the plains, I don’t know what was going on with them. 

so anyway, I got to the town, if you could call it that.  one strip mall, a huge number of buildings lining main street, but not a single shop in any of them. they weren’t boarded up of anything, just diserited.  they looked like they had been abandoned right about the time I was born,  I found the city hall, that’s where I’m going for my interview.

so I drove around the town some more, it really didn’t take much time.  the town wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen in colorado. it was like a farming town down in texas, short of the assholes in lifted trucks. but everything else was there, the grain silo was just like any other bulding in town. the farm feilds were unfenced, there were green corps growning out in the fields…

then I moved on towards greeley. since that’s the place I would actually be working.  just as I turned down the road towards greeley the wind picked up. it wasn’t much wind by colorado standards, but you have to remeber it hasn’t been windy here in years.  so the ~50mph gusts came as quite a shock,  esp to the old mexican riding his bike along the highway, it knocked him over.  (he was ok though, he had gotten up and was tiring to ride when I went past)

and so greeley. a town I don’t really know much about. it’s got the smell of feed lots.  something tells me I’d be making a lot more vegie stuff if I had to live there (so that’s maybe a plus?) but anyway, I only had to endure the smell for like a mile, cause the plant was on the east side of the highway and the wind was from the west.  but as I’m dirving down this road, I don’t know what road, there weren’t any houses for sale, nothing for rest.  then I came to a bunch of houses for rent. just accross the street from the college. then nothing, the a few started poping up, as I turned onto another road, a highway. and there was a block of houses for sale. an entire block of houses.  a for sale sign in each and everyone.  the next block there were a few less, but from that point on, every block had at least one for sale sign. so I guess it means cheap rent?

anyway, onward past greeley, I don’t know what town was next, I’m thinking maybe loveland? I drove through that town as well.  strip malls galore. I turned down 287 just as one of the storms that had been buliding up accorss the mountains came down off of the mountain. maybe they had just come so fast that they blew themselves out before getting more than a coulpe of miles out? it was pretty damm inpressive.  maybe 5/8 of a inch of water in the time it took to lights to change? and then it was gone. a mile up the road it was dry, and I don’t think it was because the strom missed it up there. but with ~40 mph winds (they had slowed a bit) and an atmosphere as viloently changeing I think it all evaporated.

so anyway, I had my dogs with me, thinking that I could take them out in whatever parks they had in this town, but they didn’t have any, so It was on to the res, boulder res has been a farvoite of my dogs for some reason, they don’t like the park with a pond here in broomfield.  and the res was far more voilent than I’ve ever seen it before, well the res it self I’ve sene that topsy turvy, but not combined with the attmosphere above as well. there was no one out on the res, white caps forming out in the middle wouldn’t let me see if all of the boats were ashore, but as of yesterday they were still mored out in it.I wakled around with my dogs for a while, but there were more people out with there dogs and I was still scared of another t-storm, so we didn’t stay long. 

and that’s it.  I’m not really sure what to think of this job. it’s the same as the on in glennwood springs, which I still don’t know if I’ve gotten. the job itself seems really cool, basically an office manager for a cop shop.  but I don’t know anything about the location.  I really am hopeing to get the job somewhere else, like little rock, or chareston, or some town in tn, I’ve gotten “reffered to the hireing officer” inall of those places as well.   I suppose I could comute, but I don’t want to.  and I don’t realy know anything about greeley.

I suppose I’ll take it just the same. anythings better than what I’m doing now. on the subject of the job I interviewed for on last friday, they had already hired someone(s), before I even got the interview.  no real suprise, as it  was with the IRS. 

 

NP, guided by voices, Acorns & Orioles. 

I’d really love to see these guys again. but the pavement reuoin isn’t really appleaing to me. I don’t know why.  I was thinking about my best comcerts again a couple of weeks ago, and GBV was definiatly in my top five. pavement wasn’t even in my top fifty, and I think i saw them three times? oh well.

but you’ll never know, what I feel inside, that I’m really bad

So it’s been beatiful weather here. the rain, just occasionally not enough to soak you, I took all these pics with my iphone, so none of them turned out right, by the sky looked so cool, the banks of couds bulit up against the mountians and appearing to pore off the higher passes.

the fog so thick that you couldn’t see the moutains till you where almost on top of them, the driving through wide open fields, the strange feeling you get driving through the wide open country up in montana, like the sky really is bigger, it felt like that for the first time I’ve felt anywhere but montana.

It really was great, and then just after I got back from walking my dogs, the clouds closed in, and it didn’t feel anything like montana, it actually got dark and started to really rain. it would have been depressing if it hadn’t been so great not five minuetes before.

oh well, not time to install a new exhaust on my car

NP sonic youth, little trouble girl

be still my heart, engine turning over, won’t you start?

I don’t know why I was so  happy over this weekend, but I was, estaticly happy, the weather was good, and though I didn’t actually do anything save for taken my dogs out to the boulder res, I was really happy to be doing it.  The drive over was amazing. I took 287 up to lookout road and lookout road right to the res, drving up lookout road was great, it’s one of those roads that goes up and down as it passes throught the fields of corn and wheat, and at times you can’t see the sprawling mertopilis sounding us, just me and my dogs and a shit load of wheat, off in the distance you could see the foothills rising up over the landscape and rain falling somewhat to the north. it was beatuful. 

and then at the res, the back side where they allow dogs, there weren’t any cops driving around (I’ve seen them before, nothing to ruin a good walk than being run off of the trail by a black police suv) it was nice and friendly, the people actually wanting to know what kind of dogs these are and so on, more friendly than I’ve seen people in the denver area be on a regular basis ever before, and to tell the truth, a tinsy bit annoying as well, I had my headphones on and was trying to listen to music… but not that big of a deal becuase there wasn’t anyone around comparied to usual.   and here is the kicker, when we got back home, the dogs just passed out from exhution i gess. 

but i still haven’t worked on my car, and it’s getting close to the date when I have to, the tags expired last month, so I really need to get a proper exhuast system on there and some how change the idle point of the motor, fix what ever is making it idle at 1500.  and then once It’s passed emissions i need to get a fueul injector set up on it. I don’t want to have to waste entire cans of starting fluid on it again this winter.  not to mention the spring that i’ve spent two days trying to cut off of the car and finally just said screw it and left it three quarters of before driving to grand juction.

and my guess would be that I will need it to start when it gets cold out again this winter, I’ve been interviewed for 5 jobs all in places it’s too cold during the winter. bend or, seattle, medford or, glennwood springs co, and somewhere else.  not a single job where it’s nice year round yet. god I hope one of them calls soon, I don’t know how much more crap I can put up with at work, and it’s getting mighty trieing living here with my fam.

 

NP: mirah, engine heart

I spent the summer wasting… but if the summers wasting, how come that I could feel so free

one thing which I won’t miss about co, is the amazing speed with which everything drys out. lundry that was dipping wet, put it out on the line and by the next day it will be dry as a bone, maybe by that afternoon.  For the pinic I was assgined to get water, seeing as how there wasn’t any at the park, I bought a big bucket of water,  unfourtnatly, it was about a gallow less than what I had brought out of my car (It was a huge keg cooler type thing, 16 gallons in all) and carrying it over from the car, I lost about a gallon. all over my front. a half and hour later, i was dry. 

I like the fact that i can take my cothes out of the washer, and just toss the little stuff in the dryer, hang up the rest of the stuff, it will be just as dry tomarrow., when I next get to it. the little stuff is just to much of a pain to hang up.  (it should be noted, that I like my clothes stiff, i can’t stand that crap other put into the dryer to make them feel softer.  give me the stiff stuff, and five minuetes later it will be just as soft)

so that’s one thing which I will miss about co.

I say this after walking my dogs tonight, there was a massive lightning storm, with very hevy rain, it didn’t last long, and I took my dogs out right after it, and I was maveling about how the rain hard stopped it was already starting to dry out. and by the time I got back the rain had evaporated from the sidewalks and roads compleatly.

 

NP: belle and sebastion, a summer wasting

he said he wanted me to move, but that just won’t do

you know what’s a little wierd, the last four times I have driven on I70 west on denver, I’ve seen four different acciedents take place.

oddly enough they were on two of the trips. 

I drove out to cali without incident, but on the return trip, an exploder pulling a trailer jackknifed and bassically blew up. the expolder was ok, but there was nothing left of the trailer. it’s wierd how at like thirty five, a thousnad pounds of thin plywood can total a car,  but they got it slowed way way down before it flipped and everyone was out of the car by the time I was going past, as you can imagne traffic came to a stop.  but it’s also wierd how a suv can be pretty much crushed by rolling over once. it wasn’t at speed or anything, I’m pretty damm sure that no more wieght than that of tehe vicle it self was pressing down upon it… I thought that back in the eightes the passed a law that a vehicle had to be able to support it’s own wieght. but anyway, eveyone was ok in that.

in the next two,  they happed just yesterday, the first was a large turck.  i’m not really sure what kind, or what kind of accident it had. but it was pouring down rain and the highway was flooded, rivers of water (by co standards) flowing accross the highway. an if you aren’t paying attention, really close and good attention, you can easily get caught out by one of these. if just one of your front wheels gets caught by one of them, and you don’t handle it right, you are going off the road. 

so anyway, I saw a large truck of some sort, (did I mention it was pouring down buckets of rain?) but it’s tail lights were to me, and it was big, seeing as how that secone of road has a barier that’s taller than my car, and I was able to see it’s taillights.  and then just before I pass it, I see a cheap hatchback flying through the air.  I think it was a toyota yaris., but i only saw  it for a fraction of a second, it was turning towards me, nose down, as it had hit the same patch of road that had causd the first accident, and then it went below the sight line and into the front of whatever truck was stoped going the wrong dircetion in the fast lane of I70. then some parts flew over the barrier.

 the fourth and final accdeint happen just a mile from those two, I’m not really sure what happened, but a car some distance in front of me spun, I don’t know why, as I was going threw that same section faster and on wider tires and I didn’t have any problems, he wound up facing traffic in the left lane, maybe a 1/8 of a mile in front of me.  Could i have stopped? yes, but before i even opened my door I would have been rear ended, so i pulled off the road te first place i found that was safe, and proceded to try to make a call to 911.  only problem? I didn’t have a clue where I was, and B my I-phone didn’t have a signal. 

there are loads of things I love about my I-phone, the abilty to receive email all the time, the abitly to receive internet acces pretty much everywhere,  the albity to get me a porn moive at 2am because I just can’t get to sleep even though I’ve been laying in the motel bedroom for three fucking hours. yea, those are things I like about my I phone.  the things i don’t like are all AT&T.  or else their coverage. I never had any problems with my old phone dropping callls, and yet now, wiht a cell phone tower in sight, standing in te middle of a field, it drops the call.

so anyway, After trying a couple of times, and getting no reposne, I give up,  figering in the five min I was trying to call them they would have figured it out by then. 

the interview, the very reason I was in grand juction for the night? I think it went really well. the only thing is he might not hierd me as I scored better than him on the IEA, so he might figure I got that job (god i hope I do) why should he figure on giving me a differing one?

 

NP: that dog, minneapolis

it’s hard to be a passenger for me, you know I’m always looking down

I’ve been wondering what the hell am i doing lately. 

I mean if i do get my dream job in lumpkin Georgia or where ever. how the hell am I going to find the girl of my dreams, or even the girl of my distant actarction? Cause now that I’m thirty, I’m not so very picky:) but still, if ~27 years in boulder/denver haven’t produced anyone, what’s the hope for me in medford or? 

I mean going from a metropolis of some ~2.5 million people to a town ~50K?  what chance in hell do I have? 

but then again, for some reason, I haven’t been able to find my sorts of people here. my friends where more likely to say hey lets smoke up than they were to say hey lets go camping.  for that matter, the number of friend I have gone camping with, two of my current friends.  and one of those stopped talking to me back ~9 months ago.  the firend I had who where into that sort of thing were way to much into it, like bolous who quit school to become a pro rock climber, upon his learning what pro rock climbers made, he took the GED and when back to school supposedly. or  jimmy who was a pretty smart guy, but decided he didn’t want to go to school, so instead he joined up with the coast guard and whent heli skiing and heli biking every day he wasn’t on duty.  (he was stationed up in aslaka before 9/11. 

I don’t know what the hell it is, I say I like camping, but no one I meet does, ryan, one of my oldest friends says camping is dirty, same for his brother, mike who I would have said was my best friend before he set off to Korea all those years ago. 

kepa liked going camping, but he was far more likely to say maybe next weekend, and then when he finally got around to it, some six weeks later, he would forget to let you know about it.  kepa was really sad, the last time i saw him was at pat’s wedding, it wasn’t formal or anything, but most of us had the sense to at least clean our clothes before going. kepa, not so much. it was really pretty sad. even his stripper girlfriend had the seance to get dressed up.  and then he goes and drains the bar.  oh well.  (but then again keppa would feel compeled to point out he had a stripper girl friend, and I had, well… and he was right)

I just want to be outside, pretty much all the time, I want good Friends around, but fat chance of that, just a little, say, ten acres to call my own. a job that doesn’t so suck, and a good woman nearby. 

Is that so much to ask? 

some nice roads near by wouldn’t hurt either, and a pool;)

NP jets to Brazil, air traffic control.

beautiful things can come from the rain

So I’ve been thinking this is the weekend when I finially get up of  of my ass and go out side, ride my bike, hike with my dogs, go to the gym.  but up till now, It hasn’t been.

The weather has evilly combined with my dislike of getting up in the morning to produce t-storms starting at about ~1pm.  and while i love thunder storms, they make it ackwards to walk around in them.  since the front range is basically a desert, everything gets so slick and sticky when it rains, we get flash floods, with the rain pouring down the trail so hard that it might as well be a stream.  it makes it a little hard to ride any where either.

but today I got up earliy and when out for a hike with my dogs.  It’s such an unbielieable pain to have to get in the car and drive to go for a hike.  but I did it.  (i also did it yesterday, but that ended really quickly when yet another strom came over the mountain)  and once I got out in line on the trail(the masa trail I find i have forgoten my water bottle.  but it was good, I still when for a nice little hike.  on thing that might be a problem, milo got so hot while we were walking,  it wasn’t the excerise, that didn’t bother him, but it was the sun sinceing down on his black back.  maybe I’ll work up some sort of coat for him, I’ve got white sheets that would work fine. 

so anyway, biking is out, seeing as how it’s pouring down out there, but going to the gym isn’t, So I think that’s what I’ll do next.  it seems so depressing to be inside when it’s such a beautiful day outside, but then the whole sky lights up with lighting, and you think, I’m glad I’ve got a roof over my head as the skys darken…

so I’m going to start eating healther as well, red wine with dinner, more actuall means rather than frozen pizza. plus their is a place near by work, fontainos subs, it’s actually open till 5 now, and I love it, sure a basically itailian sub isn’t great for you, but when its loaded up with so many veggies? It can’t be bad for you. (it’s just an eight inch sub, and it’s left me so for that most days i eat it, and maybe a bag of popcorn when I get home, that’s it) I think I’m going to give up dinking hard liquer as well though that may be hard when you’ve got a job as mind numbingly dull and painfull all day long. a job that basically leaves you wanting to crawl in bed and go to sleep forever so long as it means you won’t have to go to work ever again….

but anyway, that reminds me, I’l still go a bit of the state deparment applicaion to get through.  some mindless dull job in alanta, but what the hell it’s got to be better than my current job right:) I also should go to the optomitesit so I can see if my eyes are good enough that I can even be a cop or if I;ll have to get laysic, and if I even can get laysic.   I really hope they are good enough, cause I know I aced that test, and i applied for the most needed section of the country, lumpikn georga:) I would love to live somewhere like lumpkin, it’s really cheap, I could afford to buy land, it’s so much slower paced than just about anywhere else I’ve been. 

 

NP azure ray, beautifull things can come from the rain

i don’t smile, cause I wear a frown

I’m not really sure why I’m up.  but I’m pretty damm stoked. I was refered to the hireing officer for a job in pinvillie orgeon. a job that pays roughly twenty grand more than I make now. and i get a gun.  a blm police officer.  a ranger. 

I know I probably won’t get it, but it’s about as close as I’ve gotten (that they’ve let me know about) to getting another federal job.  so i’m pretty stoked about that.

so anyway, once I actually get up, I have to go rent a tux, and i have to decide how i’m going to so cal for erics wedding, i have been thinking i might as well fly and rent a car once i get there, just to save the wear and tear on me, not having to ride throught the night, twice over the course of a long weekend might make it worth it.

NP: I’m not like everybody else, camper van beethoven

untill the day i die

It’s good to have regular colorado weather back, on wed, everything was clear, it hadn’t snowed all mont, even at 2 in the morning, then on thurs, there was so much snow i couldn’t even clear the car off, it was a blizzard.  really. 18 inches of snow, drifts up to 4 feet.  then fri, at it was still cold.

sat came around, and it was nice out, still to much snow, I had to take my dogs up to boulder to walk along the creek path.  sun came along and it was seventy, or damm close. it was good.  and today i awoke to snow. 

it’s still a little depressing what with everything still dead, but it’s better than the alternative.

NP: that dog, untill the day i die

my mind is the place, where i make my plans, the world is the place, where i take my stand

I’m not sure of it, mostly because the guy was calling at 7:30 am, but i think he was offering to put my name in for a job as a customs/boarder patrol agent (with gun!) in lumpkin GA.

now i have no idea what the hell they would need a armed customs agent in a town of 1200 peole, a town with .66% latino population (as of the 2000 census)  but what the hell.

in my reseach i found that the town is in the montains, it’s green, the avergae income is $20K, and i can buy a house with a pool and a diving board for <74k, and if i’m feeling ambishous, I can buy a whinnery, fourteen acres, a huge house, (with indoor basketball court)  for $300K. 

and oh, the pay, If i get hierd on as a grade five, i’ll get ~5k more than i get now, if i get hired on as a grade 7, it will be ~10k more.  (i’m quafiyed at the grade seven, but i haven’t any idea if they’ll take that info consideration)

but anyway, i really really hope i get the job.  even if it is a sort of dangerouse job, it’s got to be better than talking to taxpayers.   I fcking hate talking on the phone.  i wonder if i moved there if they’d require me to have a phone? cause it’s certainly something i could do without.

NP dead prez,  Psychology