This list is what went right. your name is written twice

So I got the job as a revaune officer. I don’t know that I want the job, but what the hell, it’s in fayetville nc, and it’s pretty far out of my folks house, so I’ll take it. it’s not the job I want, i don’t think I want it at all, but what the hell, it’s got to be better than where I am now.

only problem, it doesn’t start till febuary:(

NP jets to brazil, Perfecting loneliness

I’m a long list with no time, sunset panic on the street.
Sugar and light bulbs,
the milk of kindness is behind us now with all those stones in your coat.
Did you think they wouldn’t know?
The tea leaves of trashed sheets, dirty needles and sweets.
Zero to heaven in seven.
A lifetime. A nanosecond.
All the sand in your glass, is going by so fast.
The radio is playing our tune.
I love it, could you turn it down?
The thought of you crying in my room.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
When the night comes down,
the world becomes a room under the microscope with a lab coat and glue.
I’m fixing this hole with everything I knew.
The music is making my head split.
I love it, could you turn it off?
The thought of you is tearing me in two.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
This list is what went right.
Your name is written twice.
We live like astronauts and our missions never cross.
The stakes are high.
We’re standing by.
There used to be a hundred ways to put my arms around you.
Every one seemed new, natural, and true.
Perfecting loneliness ’till nothing’s holding us.
Consider earth.
We could be the first.

ticking away the moments that make up the dull day,

So I’ve been trying to come up with a top ten list for my all time greatest songs. 

some are easy: ie, yo la tengo, autumn sweater

and  tom petty, you and I will meet again,

lovers,  people in cars don’t face each other (I  love this song, it is my altime favortie song,  “I took pictures from the car windows, these colores blurs of time, I left them for you by the pay phones, cause I can’t call or write, it’s just been to much time” and “i miss you every night, I miss you each night, I still miss you tonight” I mean of all her song writing, that its notch, one of the best in the wrold.

but others are harder, for instance, one of the chirstie frount drive songs has to be on there, but which, from which group?  I know what cfd song it would be, if it were only CFD on there, fin  (Green eyes on a melting sky, Green eyes on this certain sky) but should it really be CFD? why not anartica? or the blue onterio, or ova lovven, or the reports, or the new band, golden city?  screw it, I’m going with CFD, “just to think I met you yesterday” (not the offical lyrics), but there are some really good anartica and ova looven songs as well. 

what about some classical type music?  I’m not so familure with classical, but we need something with vocals, lets say sarah brightman and eden, and something musical,  I hate the russian, at the moment, and don’t really care for either bach of mozart, so lets say aaron copland, with appalachain spirng.

now we need something from the early days of rock,  chuck berry it is, but which song? johnny B goode, if for only the back to the future movies.

now that’s seven, only three left,

so up next, is buffalo springfield, for what it’s worth or should it be ohio by CSN&Y?  I’m going to go with ohio, just because it’s more cultrually relevent thought it’s the worse song. 

up next we have friends back east by jawbreaker,

and finally, we have the second female arist, since girls are who I listen to the most, Fuck and run (the original girlysounds tapes vesion) by liz phair, The girly sounds version has an extra verse in it,   ”whatever happened to a girl friend, the kind of chick who tryies to win you over, and whatever happened to a girlfriend, the kind of chick who makes love cuase she’s in it, you want a girl friend, you want a girlfriend you want all that boring old shit, like letters and sodas, like letters and sodas”

but even this list leaves so many great artists out, whatabout Camper van betovan, guided by voices, the greatful dead?  some more recent ones like Death cab for cutie? the get up kids? well there just wasn’t room for everyone on the list, and some of them are givens, I mean chuck berry? I don’t care what he did later in life, he belongs on the list, other not so much, for instants did i really hae to put two classical type people on the list?  well when you consider that for most of human history we haven’t  had real music, it’s only in the last ~500 years, I should have inculeded more from the pre 20 century, but i didn’t inculde anything so there.

I mean it’s pretty much aaron, then chuck, then nash, then tom, and then a bunch of upstarts.  and I’m ok with that.

 

NP time, by pink floyd

on huffys and swchinns, from chirstmas sales

my resolutions:

#1 taken streight out of www.drunkcyclist.com :

Number 2. Ride. The. Bike. More. It doesn’t matter which bike, just ride more. I didn’t really accomplish much of that this past year, and seeing as how I now live in Broomfield CO where some of the best road riding, mountain biking, and just about any other kind of bike riding you can think of exists, Is just a short drive away,  I need to get out there, and ride. It makes me feel better. Clears the head. And maybe, just maybe, I might be able to climb someday. Living in the mountains once again (I grew up in the Western mountains of Maine a few miles to the west of here right on the edge of the rocky mountains), it would be super if I could climb at something more than a walking pace. If not, hey, fuck it. I’m still riding the bikes.

Thats the main one,  everything else pretty much reveoles around that one.  well with the execption of fixing my car up (finally puting some of the mountain of parts i’ve got for it, on it.  and getting the hell out of here. I’m thinking right arnough july i’ll be ready to get out, I’ll have a year of federal serivce, i’ll have some money saved up, I should be ready to go just about anywhere else.  I’ll also have just turned 30.  a good time to get the hell out of here.  (turth be told, i am worse off fincially than i was when i started this job, no thanks to the job, thanks to the market tanking)

It would be nice if i could write something as beautiful as this : By Maria Catamero, titled the blue ghost

Sitting on the base of a water tower atop a warehouse in Brooklyn, we sat and watched the stars, watched the night grow older and older into the summer of 95. Feet dangling off into the space between here and the city skyline, ablaze and bold. Conversation, coffee, cigarettes; for a brief moment in the time, it was the Midwest transplanted here, in a rundown, sketchy section of the metropolis.  Emotions that built and swelled and poured themselves out through discordant guitar chords and mathy drum beats turning into sweet serenades that wound up and around you, that was the music. It was the soundtrack to a bunch of kids who found themselves awkwardly trying to put a meaning to their place between where they came from and where they were going, whining and whispering and wearing their hearts on their guitars. It was the beginning of something new, the
beginning of something that would later transform itself into a genre.

remeber way back in 95, i was still in high school, and there was no emo, it hadn’t yet become the joke that it is today, it wasn’t even anything to turn into a joke, it was just a bunch of mid westerners making music, it wasn’t particularly emotional music, unlike earlier emo, rites of spring, it was just the hard nosie of punk rock, mixed in with the softness of indie rock, with some heartfeltness to the lyrics.

But i haven’t really got an asperiations to do anything like that. or at least not to have it pubilished anywhere.  I don’t really want to be a writer anymore.   I just can’t seem to write anything that’s not a bit to personal to put outthere, I don’t really want to be that guy who writes everything personal.  I’d rather just contiune as a civil servant

NP:  mineral, 80-37

I miss you every night

so this begins my first of ten top ten songs.  this is my personal top ten of all time up to this date, the date being the date at which i finish, so in no particular order here is number 1~10:

lovers, People In Cars Don’t Face Each Other,  which ones of my friends replyed with, and it’s a good thing they don’t!

I drove alone to Buffalo
And scratched a heart around your name
At every rest stop vending machine I passed along the way
(I’d taken speed for days)

I took pictures from the car window
These colored blurs of time
And left them for you by the pay phones
Because I can’t call or write

It’s just been too much time
The road was without winter glow
Just dreary landscape
And the whimper of the radio
And a rubberbanded picture of your face
Around an old mixtape you’d made

I still think I’m going home
I packed my things in crooked lines,
And took a pill nicknamed hope
To change this mood of mine

This awful mood of mine
But I can’t change this mood of mine

Like a mocking dog and pony show
In the backrooms of my mind
Like a swim in the undertow
I can’t see it but I sure feel it alright

I miss you every night.

 

analsis: this is one of those songs that rings true to me, i often can’t get my real feelings out there, because i don’t exaclty know what they are, only after riding alone in my car for a few days, even months after a realtionship has ended, can i really congel my owen feelings about someone,  even if she is living with someone else, and has been for the past year in a different city across the country, it’s taken me that long to get a chance to think about her.  by which time she has, in all rights moved well beyond me.  but for some reason i can’t get her out of my head.

and this came up with the girl who ditched me at that party on satuday.  i already told her that i didn’t really like parties, and she asked me why? what was wrong with me that i didn’t like parties? and i told her the turth, i don’t really like people.  or should that be i really don’t like people? i don’t like them in groups.  i don’t mind them as single people, even in twos and threes i don’t really have a problem with them. but when you start getting larger groups of them together, they start to get on my nerves. 

i supppose thats the real reason i never became a teacher, i didn’t like having to explain myself time and time again.   i mean i could explain it once really good, the second time would be nearly as good, the third time, it woud be pretty crappy the fourth time it would be pretty bad, and by the fith time i would just say, go copy what colin has down…(colin being the cheerleader girl who i was enamored with back in high school and who always came to me for the answers, which were usually righter than the book but not quite right exatly)

but it wasn’t untill after a few long car rides alone, that i realized i really liked her, by which time it was much much to late. 

i mean after visting oregon, i was totally in love with megan, even though she was totally wrong for me, but after the long long drive home, druing which i didn’t get anymore sleep) i wasn’t in love with her anymore, i actually kind of disliked her for having me drive all the way up there only to watch her smoke an 1/2 lb of pot while i was there.  but it took that long car ride back to see that.  yeah she smokes because it’s natural, yeah lighting somthing on fire and sticking it in your mouth is really “natural”  and she thinks shes going to become a doctor, a nerosugon at that.  and you know what, she just may do that, but i certainly wouldn’t want her operating on me.

so anyway, this song holds so ture to me.  I never seem to relize whats right in frount of me, until it’s a few months down the road and i’m actually going down the road.  something about the act of actually going down the road… listening to a mixtape someone put toghter for you, or one you made for someone else… you aren’t activly thinking about them, but they keep poping up in your thoughts….

Fool enough to almost be it, Cool enough to not quite see it

So i’ve been thinking about classic rock albums lately.  not the “classic rock” but the stuff they put out right about the time i was going into high school. like nerviana

the ablum came out in 90?91? sometime in there. and its supposedly the ablum that changed music forever.  the ablum that shaped tastes for at least ten years to come, I’m of course talking about nivana’s smells like teen spirt. 

i owend the album twice. one i got sent it as part of the music club i was in back then, bmg, or columbia or whatever. and i never listened to it.  i mean really, i wound up selling it to micah back freshman year in high school still wrapped up.  i had heard nivana, but never really listened to it.  it would come on the radio, and i’d hear something, but nothing worth paying attecntion to.  so when he put it on, i was pretty impressed, hey that’s an ablum i should have, so a year or two later, i bought it.  and i listened to it and listened to it, but i just didn’t find it all that great.  i didn’t mind it,but i just didn’t like it.

I really tired to like it, i mean it was the one ablum that all of my friends loved, it was an ablum that, years later i found out was one of te defining ones of our generation (or maybe it was the gerneation before mine, it’s hard to keep track or which generation i’m in, not quite gen x, so technically gen y)  but it wasn’t anything great.  i mean loads of people had done the very same stuff right before, and loads more started right after, and to tell the truth, they all did it better.  but still not great.

and there were other bands, smashing pumkins, for example, i loved there second album, i still listen to it on occasion, as i am now, it’s a really amazing album, but there first album? meh.  and their thrid? the infamous double album, menoncllin and the infinate saddness? it was crap.  it sounded like they were trying to aleinate their fans, “hey guys i’ve got an idea, lets put out an ablum that’s crap and see it anyone buys it?” and people did. and i had to pretend i was a smashing pumkins fan because they put out a crap album and everyone liked it, except the few older friends i had, like ryan who said “meh, there older stuff was better” 

it wasn’t untill a few years into college that i started to hate niviana though, and that was only because of what it had become, a frat boy anthem, much like seeing rage against the machine for the first time in 97, “hey it looks like a bunch of drunken frat boys out there” zach said, and everyone in the crowd cheers.  they started playing it before anything even remotely alternative came on in the local clubs.  were waiting for yo la tengo tocome on, and there it is, smells like teen spirt, waiting on the dismemberment plan to come on, and there it is again.  i guess thats why he ended up killing himself, but that only made it bigger, worse.

i guess i should hate them for this sort of crap, i mean it was wierd growing up in an age where the football players and cheerleaders listened to the same sort of stuff as the geeks and the outcasts. but i don’t really have any bad memories of high school because of it, no one was really judged on their musical tastes, or much of anything, seeing as how in my high school, we were pretty much all geeks by the standards of the average high school.  it wasn’t untill ~ freshman year in college that the sports poeple started getting into rap and they left us with our own music…

but to a certain extent all of my friends are hipsters, sorry to say. it didn’t hit me till ryan mentioned it at the nick cave show, “i’m so glad i never became one of those hipster dudes” and i stated thinking, mutton chops, unshaven, we paid $45 to see nick cave? yeah we are all hipsters…..

and thats both a good thing and a bad thing.

np smashing pumkins, Mayonaise

You can check out anytime you like… but you can never leave”

So pitchforks question of the week is actually pretty good.

This week’s question: What was the first album you bought with your own money?

For me, it was the eagles, hotel california.  I was nine.  I bought it on tape, cause that’s all we had back then, well there were record players, but that brings up memories of listening to michael jackson (the triller album which i somehow ended up getting my parents to buy me a couple of years after it came out)  on my cheasy fisher pirice turntable, and at the thened age of nine, i didn’t want the old stuff, i wanted the newest stuff.  so a tape it was.  It cost me $14.99, (even back then twenty years ago, albums on the hill was a rip off) i remeber being amazed at the price, that was a lot of money for a nine year old, and that was before inflation jacked up the price of everything, i remeber a quarter getting you a pretty good hall of candy from the gum machines back in those days,  and even a penny got you a price of gum.  (20 years of 3.5%, means a quarter is basically useless now)

but i still remeber most of the songs on it, but the wierd part is, i don’t remeber listening to the tape, ever.  not a single time.  i rember i made mixtapes, real mix tapes with songs i liked on them,  but i don’t remeber makeing them, i don’t remeber where it was i got the music from, i only remeber the tapes,  shitloads of tapes.  but i don’t have any memories of listening to them.  i remeber listening to cd’s all the time, but no memmories of listening to any tapes, till well after i got a cd player, i mean like in college before i can remeber listening to a tape.

the next ablum i remeber buying, i was torn between tom petty & the heartbrakers, into the great wide open and ZZ-top’s greatest hits.  they were both in the music section of the king suopers, back when they were trying to rule the word and become wall mart (that hasn’t stoped), but they were not new ablums at the time,  i picked wrong, went with zz-top:(  it was back at the store as soon as i found out about used record stores.  i still have the tom petty ablum (it’s still pretty good)  but i havn’t got a clue when i bought it, it was back then, but it was only the first ablum i remeber. 

and i had to go and screw it up.  but what the heck, i was 12~13, that’s my exceuse.

green eyes are the melting skys

ok, so i just wrote a biig old post about why i’m misseable and stuff (sumry: could it be because my job sucks rather than the awarkwards hours?) but anyway i’m not really sure of posting it here.

but i will say that if john mccain wins this next election, i will not set foot in this counrty again.  and consider i don’t even like the guy he’s up against. but i hear by swear, that baring anything big comeing up, i will not live in this country anymore….  i’ll take up teaching in korea or the chech rebulic,  (well probably not korae cause they eat dogs there, but somewhere) i’ll take my ~$30,000 and never set foot in this crappy nation again.

np: chirstie front dive, fin (cat, if you still want CFD discs, you’ll have to let me know, cause i think i can copy cd’s againg, and even if not i can email them…)

muxtape shuts down :(

Muxtape Shut Down, For Now

This evening, visitors to popular virtual-mixtape-generating website Muxtape were greeted with an unfortunate message: “Muxtape will be unavailable for a brief period while we sort out a problem with the RIAA.” Over at the Muxtape Tumblr, a post stated, “No artists or labels have complained. The site is not closed indefinitely. Stay tuned.”

No other information was available.

Perhaps it’s just a publicity stunt or a technical glitch. Perhaps the site will be back up by the morning. Or the RIAA really did have a problem with the site. After all, they did host thousands of free, streaming songs available for your mixtaping pleasure, and encouraged you to upload more. The party was inevitably going to end sooner or later.

Regardless, tonight, thousands of lovesick indie kids all over the world are being forced to haul out boomboxes and put tape over old MC Hammer cassettes in order to compile mixes for their crushes. This is a sad occasion indeed.

Posted by Amy Phillips on Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 11:25pm

from http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/