This list is what went right. your name is written twice

So I got the job as a revaune officer. I don’t know that I want the job, but what the hell, it’s in fayetville nc, and it’s pretty far out of my folks house, so I’ll take it. it’s not the job I want, i don’t think I want it at all, but what the hell, it’s got to be better than where I am now.

only problem, it doesn’t start till febuary:(

NP jets to brazil, Perfecting loneliness

I’m a long list with no time, sunset panic on the street.
Sugar and light bulbs,
the milk of kindness is behind us now with all those stones in your coat.
Did you think they wouldn’t know?
The tea leaves of trashed sheets, dirty needles and sweets.
Zero to heaven in seven.
A lifetime. A nanosecond.
All the sand in your glass, is going by so fast.
The radio is playing our tune.
I love it, could you turn it down?
The thought of you crying in my room.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
When the night comes down,
the world becomes a room under the microscope with a lab coat and glue.
I’m fixing this hole with everything I knew.
The music is making my head split.
I love it, could you turn it off?
The thought of you is tearing me in two.
I miss you, could you come around sometime?
This list is what went right.
Your name is written twice.
We live like astronauts and our missions never cross.
The stakes are high.
We’re standing by.
There used to be a hundred ways to put my arms around you.
Every one seemed new, natural, and true.
Perfecting loneliness ’till nothing’s holding us.
Consider earth.
We could be the first.

I’m gona move to southern california, got me a ride and a reason to ignore you

so I might be moving to cali.  it’s not really so cal, but close enough.

I had an interview today for a position as a wine sampler taker.  I really want the job. 

inspite of the location.

The interview went better than the others I’ve had. probably because the people on the other end of the interview actually knew what the job involed. 

and they made it sound so good.  the only bad thing was the frequent travel, but with government benifts, that more than makes up for it. 

I would need to get a different car though, pretty much any job in cali is going to make me get a different car though. 

I really hope I get the job.

NP wax, california

oh god I hate decmeber

so i don’t think i can go up to erics cabin anymore,

the last four times I’ve been up there, there was some problem that prevented me from getting back.  be it normal ski country traffic, road clourses or just slow ass drivers. 

this time is was acombination of road clourses, slow ass drivers, and my GPS system wanting to find the shortest distance between two points, 

yes, it snowed while I was up there, it was a blizzard at times, but the measly two two three inches of snow wheren’t a challenge to my four inches of groung clearance of to my newly fited (but probably more than seven year old) snow tires.  i was cursing along at~40~70 mph (the speed limt was 45) untill I’d come up on a another car, I’d try to pass, and eventually get by.  untill I got to the other side of the mountain,  where I couldn’t pass (not safely at least) so I turged down the mountain at some amazing figure of like 20mph avg. 

and then I got to the highway,  I was passing people on the right, but I was only going the speed limt, and it was good.

till they closed the highway.

I was so tempted to drive around the car that was blocking it, there was plenty of room in both sides, and no one in it. but i didn’t.  at this point I was only about 1.5 hours behind schudle.  it took the next hour to get to the 119/us 6 cut off.  I took the 119. 

and did just fine along it, inspite of the fact that the speed limit was roughly the speed I was going. 

and then I was stupid and followed my gps system, the same system that clocked me at 500_ mph earler in the trip (really, It was going along maybe a mile east of highway 40 at speeds of 200+ for at least a 1/4 hour before it started acting up, speefs of 400+ going in random diections)

but I took a long long way home, which wouldn’t have been that bad, except the driver in frount of me couldn’t manage more than 15 for a good 18 miles.  (on the road I wanted there were passing zones, no such luck on this road) and when I finially got down, and turned to take the road home, it was closed.

It’s shit like this that makes me hate lving here. I could have been home in 2.5 hours even actiting for the traler driver over the pass.  but instead it took me nearly five hours, and before you tell me it was my getting off course, that actually singifigantly improved my time till i got caught behind the driver who couldn’t got more than 15…

 

I really hope I get the job inspecting winearys in cali.

 

NP ivy, god I hate december

Its getting cold all aver again, so I´ll be inside way too much again.

So I didn’t get the job up in portland.

and it sucks, that was a job which i really wanted and I thought the interview went really well, I asked the right questions, and answered the questions to the best I could.  and I didn’t get the job. 

but I’m not giving up.  I got a couple of other interviews I’ve done or have comeing up, one for a temp postion with the department of veterns up in spokanne, on for a RO postion in missippi which I really hope I get because there is 16K in per diem on the line for that one, they’ll pay me some 16K just to go to kanas city for a four month period.  16K to not spend the winter in colorado.  though I don’t know how much warmer mo is,  but it’s got to be a bit warmer. and tueplo ms is pretty cheap to live, 100K will buy a nice house…

and I bought a couple of books on interviewing technquie to read though as well.  but the thing is, I haven’t had anything exceiting come along, well the job up in mn would be pretty cool, 32 hours a week, and I’d still make enough to live, but I don’t know about driving 30 miles each way…

oh well. 

NP texas is the reason.  nickel wound

I want to call requests thru heating vents, and hear them answered with wisper, NO

So I had this dream two nights ago,  where I awoke to a message from my phone from the widsor chamber pf commerce, it was a mesage “when could I start?” and then as a i was calling them back, I got another message, it was the girl up in portland asking if i was still interested in the job there. 

and I don’t remeber how it ends. 

but erther one would be better than my current job.  I mean I can totally see the point in holding all of their money when they don’t call in with the two-six letteres we send them,  but on the other hand I can’t see releasing it on the whim of a employee, be it me, or my manager (or in better times, my actual manager, who looks at the irm) but for the most part, it’s not, it’s based on the employee who gets the call. and I can’t deal with the arbiratiayness of our porcess. 

one of my coworkers, took a call from me, when my lead decided that I couldn’t release a levy, she said it was her teams policy to release a levy when there was any evidence that they hadn’t received the notice of levy (A good policy since it’s in the IRM) but per my teams policy that’s not good enough, nothing is good enough.  except when it is good enough.  when anything is good enough.  she released 8K from the levy, my “boss” called me into the office with a his boss to discuss a partical release of levy, I released 1.5K, It ended with my “boss”  getting admosished, but still…

I really hope I get the job up in portland, and baring that, I hope the test goes  well. I mean a job working for the dep of homeland security in mobil al, can’t be all that bad can it? I mean my current life is pretty much hell, more so because of the choices I’ve made than my current job, but the job doesn’t help anything. I cann’t wait till the levy moriturim when I’ll actaully be able to help people again, isn’t that suppost to be the point of working for the civil service again?

 

NP: weakerthans, (Manifest)

who needs a house out in hackensac, is that all you get for your money?

 So I’m going to apply for a job as an airport secutiry garud tomarrow, well not really, I applied for the job months ago, they just relized that I meet the basic quailfications a week ago.

so I’m going to take the job if I’m not offered anything better before then.  It’s in mobile al, so houseing cheap, a hundred and fifty for a house, two hundred for one that’s outside of the huricane flood zone.  (which I can come up with 49% down, just barley) 

so it’s hello mobil:) at least there is a beach nearby

 

NP: billy joel, moving out (anthony’s song)

 

“mama if that’s moving up, than I moving out”

then I’ll spend the time I saved for you, in oregon

or maybe not.

I got a sorce from one of the tests I took:( but I still have hope, false though it may be.

NP:mayblines, oregon

yeah, I going back to cali, to cali.. I don’t think so

so I haven’t gotten a single rejection letter this week, nor any acceptance letter (the we have forwarded your application to the hiring manager letters)

I’m hoeing this means I got one of the jobs I’ve interviewed for. 

I really hope it’s either the job up in Portland or one of the mission support specialist ones. since those were the only ones where they could tell me what it is that I’ll be doing. the others have all been “well, I don’t really know what it is that you would be doing… but h’m sure it’s important in some way? right?”

I’m secretly hoping for the one in Portland with fish and wildlife.  that seems like such a better agency than the department of homeland security, which in turn seems a whole lot better than the irs. 

It’s not so much the policy’s of the IRS that make it an awful place to work, it’s the fact that every tax payer gets treated differently.  it doesn’t even matter who the tax payer is, Donald Trump could call in requesting levy release, for the five hundred bucks he owes in back taxes, and he’s going to get it more than half the time.  meanwhile a taxpayer who was audited, and makes less than 20K per year, can’t get the money she needs to feed her kids in the homeless shelter. (true story on the woman living in the homeless shelter)

they don’t want us to disadvantage the tax payer? well we kind of already have by answering the phone when they call. just because our boss at the moment is really uneven about applying the rules.  our former boss, applying then equally in every case except one.   that made me feel good about my team at least, but she’s been out sick for the better part of half a year:( I hope your husband gets better, really. 

but that’s in addiction to my general complaints about the job, If i have to go to the bathroom for two minutes, I have to spend three minutes writing up an explanation of why I wasn’t on the phone for those two minuets and the additional three minutes.  

god it pisses me off,  for example I can’t go to the bathroom while I’m waiting for a fax to come though, i have to stand at the fax machine and wait, never mind it takes the same f*** time.  and it’s not like I’m doing anything useful standing around at the fax machine. 

I swear I’m not going to be there when the levy mortitourim ends this year, I’ll go work for jiffy lube rather than working for the IRS. 

I really hope i got the job with fish and wildlife, a job in Portland where it’s really my job to help people? god that sounds great:) even the jobs in glennwood springs or Windsor sound so much better than what I’m doing now. 

 

NP: going back to cali, ll cool J

and the winper of the radio, and rubber banded picture of your face around an old mixtape you made

So I’ve had five interviews which I haven’t heard back from.  pretty much they are all for jobs either in the pacific northwest, or for jobs in colorado.  the pacific northwest wouldn’t be a bad place to live.  I’ve got friends up there, particularly in Portland.  and the job I interviewed for in Portland is a really great job, program analyst. which means I would be helping people out with travel stuff, but It also means I could do anything working for the government,  providing I was willing to move.  (and it’s not to somewhere good, DC, which isn’t exactly bad, but maybe someday….) whats really weird is I’ve only heard back from three of the jobs I’ve applied to in the south, I didn’t get any of them.  I’ve been trying to get a job in the south for the better part of a year. imagine, somewhere it only snows a couple of times a decade! and when it does, never mind that the inch of snow is gone from the roads within the hour, the citys shut down for days.  I remember way back,  we were driving to see my uncle who lived in florida, and it was snowing as we were making our way through atlanta, it wasn’t real snow by colorado standards, but traffic was at a standstill, we got off of the freeway and drove unencumbered by traffic because the side streets were way to dangerous to drive.  there was maybe a quarter of an inch sticking to peoples lawns.  when we where going home, they were still going really slow, a week later….

The job in Windsor would be cool as well, though I don’t know, an agency that says right out, it could be three months before you start? and for some reason I get the impression that I wasn’t exactly what he was looking for.  I was quailfiyed for the position, but I just got the impression that he was looking for someone else.  the job up in glennwood springs seems really cool,  but it’s so costly to live there….

I really hope I get something somewhere else.  anywhere except the northeast or the upper midwest, though I did apply for a job in nyc got a we already picked someone else before I even got my notice of ranking.  sort of like a job I applied for in denver,  I’m not really sure how that is legal.  but I went for an interview with the IRS about two weeks ago? and I knew right when i walked in the door that they had already told someone else that they had the job.   I hate that. 

In other news, my folks are out of town this week. and you know what? it’s not my job thats making me depressed. it’s living with them.  this place.  I really hope I get the job up in portland.  sure it rains a lot, but what the heck, things are green! and there are people there, people like me!  people who actually like going outside, people who like going to see shows… I really miss haven’t someone to go to shows or to go camping with:(  it seems like everyone just wants to go out to the bars in denver, even the girls I’ve been going out with, don’t seem to have any ideas better than lets go see a movie:(

in other news, my car passed emissions, but the don’t offer five year plates for it anymore:( that stopped September 1, the due date of my getting emissions tested, I used the extition and thus missed out. 

NP: lovers, people in cars don’t face each other

“I took pictures from the car window, these coloured blurs of time, I left them for you by the pay phones, cause I can’t call or write, it’s just been to much time”

 

life was lesure, learning french words, we stayed in bright rooms, without any style

so the thing I hate the most about government interviews is the relative lack of passion for the job you get with the interviewers. the one I just had went pretty well, but I don’t know if i got the job because of that lack of passion, and she was the most passionate interviews I’ve had.

but lets hope, its a system analyist job up in portland, systems analyist is supposedly one of the best jobs with the feds. you get to do everything, and once you’ve done it for a while, you can’ quite litteraly do anything, provided you are willing to move, which i’m not so sure of, I like portland and it’s cheap eoung that I could buy a house. it’s also a volvo mecha.  but i think that’s just because of the sort of people who live there, it’s far far more liberal than colorado.

 

NP:rainer maria, life of lesure